Thresholds and Vows

All the true vows

are secret vows

the ones we speak out loud

are the ones we break.



There is only one life

you can call your own

and a thousand others

you can call by any name you want.



Hold to the truth you make

every day with your own body,

don't turn your face away.



Hold to your own truth
at the center of the image

you were born with.



Those who do not understand

their destiny will never understand

the friends they have made

nor the work they have chosen

nor the one life that waits

beyond all the others.



By the lake in the wood

in the shadows

you can

whisper that truth

to the quiet reflection

you see in the water.



Whatever you hear from

the water, remember,



it wants you to carry

the sound of its truth on your lips.



Remember,


in this place

no one can hear you



and out of the silence

you can make a promise

it will kill you to break,

that way you'll find

what is real and what is not.



I know what I am saying.

Time almost forsook me

and I looked again.



Seeing my reflection

I broke a promise

and spoke

for the first time

after all these years



in my own voice,



before it was too late

to turn my face again.

- David Whyte, "All the True Vows"





David Whyte’s words were some of the first uttered by Bill Plotkin as he introduced us to his weekend intensive entitled: Cultivating Visionary Leadership and Soul-Infused Artistry in a Time of Global Change. Little did I know or understand at the time (as is always the case, right?) that these words, my whispers, my promises and my reflections would present me with a threshold, that once crossed would mean no turning back.

Bill believes that there are eight levels of personal / soul development (more on that later). He also believes that 75% of Western individuals have become perpetually stuck in their adolescent phase. By no means should you confuse the adolescent psychological phase with that of the physical sort. Yes, they can occur in tandem but physical growth during the adolescent period is more of a natural occurrence and passes with the awkwardness and humility that most of us are familiar with. The psychological aspect of this phase, however, is deeply personal and cultural. Unfortunately for most Westerners and an ever growing contingent of the non-Western world, our market driven constitutional delusions of individuality and isolation are at the heart of our problems culturally and collectively. Bill believes, as do I, that our collective problems stem from our deep seeded individuality and our lack of developing to our full human potential. He pushes further by stating that, “A truly initiated adult knows their place in the world.” Do you know your place in the world? Do I?

Over the next day Bill introduced us to several techniques he uses to check the ego to allow an individual to transcend into a more soulful level of consciousness. We integrated music, art, story, naming (psychological birth), dream work, and wilderness excursions into our day. My most significant learning came from our wilderness excursions. We were given the idea of finding a physical threshold whether it be a stick, log, fence, curb, etc. and cross it knowing that we were attempting to transcend the realities of the ‘real world’ by entering the world of the soul, the underworld. Walking alone in a state park I selected my threshold, crossed it and found a tree willing to listen to my silent truths. As I emerged from my conversation / meditation and stepped over the threshold between the worlds of the soul and reality, I knew something was different. I can’t put into words how I knew, nor do I want to, but I just felt it.

One of the last things I wrote down from that day was something Bill said, “Embodying our own personal mystery is the best action (and perhaps most creative?) we have to create social and cultural change.” Fast forward to now, almost three weeks since my weekend intensive and I’ve mutually ended a five and a half year relationship and reconnected with myself, with my soul. My former partner and I have our own and shared reasons for ending our intimate relationship but undoubtedly, for me, Bill’s work influenced this life event as did the conversations I’ve had recently, some of the realizations I’ve made during my time at Antioch and my own soul screaming for release, for freedom. I’m now staring into a future full of potential, mystery, adventure and unknowing... and I like it.